Newcomers decide fast whether they belong, so groups have to earn a second visit

Key takeaways

• In a study of nearly 25,000 newcomers to 99 online discussion groups, people whose first post got a reply were much more likely to keep taking part.
• After a one-hour Stanford exercise that told first-year students early worries about fitting in are common and fade, Black students were less likely to report a recent doctor visit: 28% versus 60%.
• A 2023 test with 26,911 students at 22 schools found a smaller benefit, and only where students had real chances to make friends and find mentors.
• An estimate repeated since 1982 holds that about half of people who start an exercise program quit within six months, so the first weeks matter most.
• Use the welcome protocol and scripts below: greet by name, explain how things work, pair each newcomer with a member, and follow up within two days.

In a Stanford experiment, about 90 first-year college students spent an hour reading what older students had written about their first months on campus¹. The stories carried one message: almost everyone worries at first about fitting in, and the worry fades.

The students then wrote their own essay on that theme and recorded it as a speech for future students¹. A comparison group read about topics that had nothing to do with belonging.

The researchers followed the students for about three years. Black students who did the exercise earned higher grades, and the gap between them and white students shrank by 52%¹. They also reported fewer doctor visits. Only 28% said they had recently seen a doctor, compared with 60% of Black students in the comparison group¹.

A yoga class, an herb walk or an online healing group is not a college campus. But the newcomer’s quiet question is the same: Do people like me belong here?

This guide gathers what research shows about that question, from online forums, college campuses and exercise programs. It ends with a welcome protocol and word-for-word scripts that any host or member can use.

The first weeks decide whether people stay

Exercise programs have wrestled with this problem for decades. An estimate first published in 1982, and repeated in exercise-science writing ever since, holds that about half of people who start an exercise program quit within six months⁸⁹. The figure is old and rough, but the pattern it describes still shapes how trainers plan the early weeks.

Better data come from a 2014 systematic review of exercise programs for older adults¹⁰. In the four studies that tracked completion, 65% to 86% of people finished¹⁰. In five studies, people attended 58% to 77% of the sessions offered¹⁰.

Adherence was generally higher when a person supervised the program¹⁰. That fits what many group leaders see: people keep showing up when someone expects them.

The reasons people give for quitting are ordinary. A 1995 review listed bad timing, an awkward location, family and work demands, and classes that felt too hard or no fun⁸. Several of those are things a host can change.

Online groups lose newcomers too, but there researchers can count every post, so they can see what happens in the very first exchange.

A reply to the first post changes who comes back

Robert Kraut, a professor of human-computer interaction at Carnegie Mellon University, led one of the largest studies of newcomers online. His team analyzed more than 200,000 messages from nearly 25,000 newcomers to 99 Usenet groups, an early kind of internet discussion board⁶.

Newcomers whose first posts got a reply were much more likely to keep participating, especially when the reply was friendly⁶. The first response worked like a door held open. Silence worked like a door left shut.

A later study looked at how newcomers asked. Moira Burke, Kraut and Elisabeth Joyce used computer analysis on about 12,000 newcomer messages sent to roughly 100 online groups, then ran two field experiments⁷. In the experiments, two moves drew more responses: mentioning your earlier involvement with the group, and asking a specific question⁷.

One move made no measurable difference in the experiments: describing yourself as similar to the group’s members⁷. Kraut’s earlier work pointed the same way. Introductions that showed commitment to the group drew replies, while those that only stressed interest in the topic did not⁶.

That finding hands hosts two jobs. Make sure every first post gets a warm, human reply. And teach newcomers how to ask, with a short template like the one later in this guide.

Everyone worries about fitting in, and saying so helps

Psychologists call the newcomer’s worry belonging uncertainty: a nagging doubt about whether you will be accepted. Greg Walton and Geoffrey Cohen of Stanford designed their 2011 experiment to ease that doubt without pretending it wasn’t there¹.

The message was not “You belong, so stop worrying.” It was closer to “Nearly everyone feels this at first, and it gets better.” That framing treats the worry as normal and temporary, not as proof that you don’t fit.

The study was small, so a careful reader should ask whether it holds up. The federal What Works Clearinghouse, which grades education research, reviewed it and found that it met its standards for a randomized controlled trial². In that kind of study, people are assigned by chance to one group or another.

The review also set limits, starting with size: its analysis included only 70 students². The grade boost showed up for Black students, whose three-year average GPA was 3.60 versus 3.34 in the comparison group, but not for white students or for the whole sample². The doctor-visit finding came from what students reported themselves¹.

The authors warned that the exercise was no quick fix for deeper problems¹. Even so, it suggested that a brief, honest message about belonging can matter for both grades and health.

The message works only if the welcome is real

In 2023, Walton and dozens of colleagues tested the idea at scale. They randomly assigned 26,911 incoming students at 22 colleges and universities to a belonging exercise or a comparison activity³. The online exercise took under 30 minutes, and writing a personal story took about 7.5 minutes on average⁴.

Students read survey results showing that older students had shared their worries. They read stories of how those worries eased, then wrote advice for students coming after them⁵. The exercise raised the share of students who finished their first year as full-time students³.

The effect was modest. In supportive settings, completion rose by 2 percentage points for groups of students who had been lagging⁴. The researchers estimated that if 749 four-year schools used it, about 12,136 more students a year would finish their first year full time⁴.

The most useful finding was about where it worked. The exercise helped only where students’ groups had real opportunities to belong³. Walton compares the message to a seed and the setting to soil⁴. Where bias, or a lack of friends and mentors, blocked students, the message had little to grow in⁴.

For a wellness group, that is the key lesson. A sign that says “All are welcome” is a seed. A greeter who learns your name, a member who saves you a spot and a follow-up note are the soil.

What the evidence says about welcoming newcomers

No study we found tested newcomer welcomes in yoga studios, herb circles or online healing groups directly. The ratings below come from nearby settings, so read them as useful signals rather than proof.

Practice	Evidence level	What it rests on
Replying quickly and warmly to a newcomer’s first post	Promising but early	Large Usenet analysis linking replies to staying; observational6
Helping newcomers ask a specific question and mention earlier involvement	Promising but early	About 12,000 messages plus two field experiments7
Telling newcomers that belonging worries are common and fade	Promising but early	One small trial12 and one large trial with a modest, setting-dependent effect34
Having a person lead or supervise sessions	Promising but early	Older-adult review found higher adherence in supervised programs10
Assigning a buddy, sending a follow-up note, offering a small role	Not enough evidence	Sensible practice, with indirect support from research on friendly contact and volunteering11
A belonging message alone, where newcomers have no real chance to connect	Evidence says no, or unsafe	The 2023 trial found no benefit where opportunities to belong were missing34

A welcome protocol for in-person groups

This protocol turns the research into steps. The timings are our suggestions, not findings from a study, so adjust them to your group.

Before the first visit
1. Put the practical answers in the invitation: address, parking, cost, what to wear or bring, how long it runs, and whether the space has steps or a ramp. Our companion article on safe and inclusive spaces covers access in depth.
2. Name one contact person who will look for the newcomer by name.
3. Write a five-line “how we do things here” card: when to arrive, how the session flows, how to sit out or modify, and the group’s rule on selling.

At the door
4. Greet each newcomer within the first minute, and use their name.
5. Introduce them to one member who will sit or stand nearby. That member is their buddy for the first three visits.
6. Explain any ritual before it happens. An unexplained chant, bow or sharing circle can feel like a test.

During the session
7. Swap jargon for plain words, or define a term once. “Pranayama” can simply be “breathing practice.”
8. Give permission out loud: “Skip anything that doesn’t feel right. Watching counts.”
9. Never single out a newcomer to share, demonstrate or receive a hands-on adjustment without asking first.

After the session
10. Ask one real question, such as “What brought you here?” Then listen.
11. Send a short, personal follow-up within two days. One message, with no pressure.
12. By the third visit, offer a small job: holding the door, bringing tea, setting out mats. The Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory notes that helping others and feeling connected tend to go together, and that brief friendly exchanges build trust¹¹.

A welcome protocol for online groups

1. Have a person, not a bot, reply to every first post within a day. Mention something specific the newcomer said⁶.
2. Pin a short welcome post with the group’s purpose, its rules and how to ask a good question. Our article on respectful group norms explains how to write the rules.
3. Offer a first-post template: “I’ve been following this group for [time]. I’m here because [reason]. My question is [one specific question].” It builds in the two moves that drew replies in the Burke study⁷.
4. Tag one experienced member to say hello in the thread.
5. Keep a plain-language glossary of the group’s terms and abbreviations.
6. Check back after a week. A newcomer who went quiet may need one nudge, or may simply prefer to read.

The Surgeon General’s advisory also calls for fair access to the places and programs that connect people, especially for those most at risk of isolation¹¹. Online, that can mean captions on videos, readable fonts and image descriptions.

Scripts you can use word for word

The names below are placeholders. Swap in your own.

At the door: “Hi, I’m Dana. Is this your first time? We’re glad you came. Let me introduce you to Sam, who’s been coming for a year and can show you where things are.”

Before the session starts: “A quick note for anyone new. We start with ten minutes of quiet breathing, then we move. Rest whenever you want. Nobody here is keeping score.”

After the session: “How was that for you? A lot of people find the first time a little strange. That’s normal, and it gets easier.”

Follow-up text or email, within two days: “Hi Jordan, it was good to meet you Tuesday. No need to reply. If you’d like to come back, we meet again Thursday at 6, and Sam will save you a spot.”

When a newer member misses a week: “We missed you this week and hope all is well. The door’s open whenever you’re ready.”

Online, replying to a first post: “Welcome, Priya, and thanks for asking about magnesium and sleep. A few of us have looked into it, and this is what we found, with sources. Please check with your clinician before changing anything you take.”

The “it gets easier” line borrows from the Stanford approach. It tells a newcomer that awkwardness is common and temporary, which is the message the belonging studies tested¹⁵. Only say it if your group backs it up.

Hospitality is one of the oldest health practices

Long before group classes had sign-up apps, healing traditions ran on hospitality. The stranger got a seat by the fire. A newcomer to a village learned which plants to gather from a neighbor who walked the fields with them.

Natural health still travels that way, hand to hand and kitchen to kitchen. The research above suggests that this tradition knew something real. A newcomer who is greeted, answered and given a small way to help has better reasons to come back.

Welcoming well also honors your values. A group that respects autonomy lets people watch before they join in, ask questions without being judged and leave without guilt. That respect is part of the welcome, not a separate rule.

Questions readers ask

The bottom line

Newcomers decide quickly whether a group has room for them. Research from online forums and college campuses points to the same few moves: answer them fast and warmly, tell them the truth that early awkwardness is normal and temporary, and give them real chances to connect with people who expect to see them again.

None of these steps costs money, though each one costs a little attention. A greeting by name, a reply to a first post and a note two days later are small acts, and they can decide whether someone ever comes back.

Keep exploring: online health groups and wellness communities.

Related reading

• People come to wellness groups for answers and stay for belonging
• Healthy groups disagree out loud, and these rules keep it respectful
• Online health groups offer reach, while in-person groups have stronger evidence
• How to protect people who come to wellness groups at fragile moments

Sources

1. Stanford University (Gorlick A). “Psychologists design 60-minute exercise that raises GPAs of minority students” (on Walton GM, Cohen GL, Science, 2011). ScienceDaily, 2011. sciencedaily.com
2. Institute of Education Sciences, What Works Clearinghouse. “A brief social-belonging intervention improves academic and health outcomes of minority students” (study review of Walton & Cohen, Science, 2011). U.S. Department of Education. ies.ed.gov
3. Walton GM, Murphy MC, Logel C, Yeager DS, et al. “Where and with whom does a brief social-belonging intervention promote progress in college?” Science, 2023 (abstract via Penn State research portal). pure.psu.edu
4. Stanford Report. “Improving student success through social belonging.” Stanford University, 2023. news.stanford.edu
5. American Association for the Advancement of Science. News release on Walton et al., “Where and with whom does a brief social-belonging intervention promote progress in college?” EurekAlert, 2023. sciencesources.eurekalert.org
6. Kraut RE. “Analyzing & Improving Online Communities” (presentation abstract, Carnegie Mellon University). EDUCAUSE Library, 2007. library.educause.edu
7. Carnegie Mellon University Human-Computer Interaction Institute. “Moira Burke and Bob Kraut receive journal Small Group Research best paper award” (on Burke M, Kraut RE, Joyce E, “Membership claims and requests,” Small Group Research, 2010). hcii.cmu.edu
8. Chung PK. “A Discussion on Exercise Adherence.” Asian Journal of Physical Education & Recreation, 1995. ejournals.lib.hkbu.edu.hk
9. Kravitz L. “Exercise Motivation: What Starts and Keeps People Exercising?” University of New Mexico. unm.edu
10. Picorelli AM, Pereira LS, Pereira DS, Felício D, Sherrington C. “Adherence to exercise programs for older people is influenced by program characteristics and personal factors: a systematic review.” Journal of Physiotherapy, 2014 (record via Epistemonikos). epistemonikos.org
11. U.S. Surgeon General. “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2023. hhs.gov