Couples move more when they share a bed, yet most say they sleep better

Key takeaways

• In a 1994 study of 46 couples, about a third of all movements happened in the same 30 seconds for both partners, yet most couples said they slept better together¹.
• In a 2025 American Academy of Sleep Medicine survey, 31% of U.S. adults said they had slept in a separate bed or room, which the academy frames as respect for sleep, not a failing relationship⁶.
• When Mayo Clinic researchers stopped husbands’ snoring partway through the night, their wives’ share of time asleep rose from 74% to 87%⁸.
• In a small Mayo Clinic study, people slept well with a dog in the bedroom, though a bit less efficiently with the dog on the bed⁹.
• For babies, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises sharing a room but not a bed for at least the first 6 months, and never dozing off together on a couch or armchair¹¹¹².

In 1994, two sleep researchers published a quiet experiment in the journal Sleep. They fitted 46 couples with wrist motion sensors for eight nights, then lined up the data in 30-second slices¹.

About a third of all movements happened in the same slice for both partners¹. Bed-sharers moved more than similar people who slept alone, and less on nights their partner was away¹.

Yet most couples said they slept better when their partner was there¹.

That gap between what sensors record and what sleepers feel runs through the research on sharing a bed. This article covers what it shows about partners and pets, and the safety rules that matter most when the person beside you is a baby.

Your partner moves you at night, and your brains fall into step

A 2015 study, from a team that included sleep researcher Wendy Troxel, tracked 48 married couples with wrist sensors for 10 days². Partners were asleep or awake at the same moments about 75% of the night, compared with 59% for random pairs of strangers².

In 2020, researchers in Germany looked inside the brain. Twelve young, healthy couples spent four nights in a sleep lab, sleeping together on some nights and alone on others³.

When they shared a bed, partners got about 10% more REM sleep, the stage most linked to dreaming, and it was broken up less³. Their sleep stages lined up more closely, especially in couples who described a deeper relationship³.

They moved their arms and legs more, but that didn’t disturb their sleep stages³. Lead author Henning Johannes Drews put it this way: “while your body is a bit unrulier when sleeping with somebody, your brain is not”³. Twelve couples is a tiny sample, though, and all were young, healthy and heterosexual³.

Troxel, a senior behavioral scientist at the RAND Corporation, sums up the pattern: by objective measures, people tend to sleep worse when they share a bed, yet most prefer to share⁴. The sense of safety a partner brings may help explain why, she suggests⁴.

About a third of adults have tried “sleep divorce.” The name oversells it

In 2023, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) commissioned an online survey of 2,005 U.S. adults⁵. More than a third said they sometimes or regularly moved to another room because of a bed partner⁵. Men were far more likely than women to say so, 45% to 25%⁵.

Later AASM surveys put the share at 29% in 2024⁷ and 31% in 2025⁶. The releases word the question a little differently each year, so read these as a range, not a trend. In 2025, adults aged 35 to 44 were likeliest to sleep apart (39%) and people 65 and older least likely (18%)⁶. Atomik Research, a market research firm, ran the 2023 and 2025 polls online for the AASM⁵⁶.

Smaller compromises are more common. In 2025, 37% said they went to sleep at a different time than they wanted, to suit a partner⁶. Snoring, a restless partner, room temperature, light and noise are common sources of friction, the academy says, along with work schedules, white noise and pets⁶.

Separate sleep spaces are mostly about “mutual respect regarding the sanctity of the sleep space,” not a sign of a failing couple, says AASM spokesperson Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist⁵⁶. Sleep-deprived people are more likely to argue, she noted in 2023⁵. Her advice: talk through what each of you needs, and plan time together⁶.

Treating a snorer can give the partner back an hour a night

In 1999, Mayo Clinic researchers recorded both partners’ sleep, side by side, in 10 married couples⁸. Each husband was being checked for obstructive sleep apnea⁸, a condition in which the airway narrows or closes again and again during sleep.

Partway through the night, the husbands put on a masklike breathing device. Their snoring stopped, and their disrupted-breathing episodes dropped to 7 on average, down from 26⁸.

The wives felt the difference. Before treatment, 43% of their brief awakenings were tied to their husbands’ snores⁸. Once the snoring stopped, their awakenings fell by 39%, and their share of time asleep rose from 74% to 87%⁸. Mayo’s announcement put that gain at more than an extra hour of sleep a night⁸.

It was a tiny, one-night study, but the problem is common and often hidden. The AASM estimates that nearly 30 million U.S. adults have sleep apnea and that about 80% of cases are undiagnosed⁶.

Your partner is often the first to notice. MedlinePlus, the National Library of Medicine’s health site, lists a bed partner hearing loud snoring, snorting, gasping, choking or pauses in breathing among the signs of a sleep disorder¹⁴. Not every snorer has apnea, but the AASM urges partners of snorers, men and women alike, to encourage a doctor visit⁵.

For plain snoring, MedlinePlus suggests skipping alcohol and sleepy medicines at bedtime, losing weight if you’re overweight, and sleeping on your side, perhaps with a tennis ball sewn into the back of a nightshirt¹⁵. Nasal strips may ease snoring but don’t treat apnea¹⁵. Our upcoming article on sleep apnea covers testing and treatment.

Night owl, early bird, one bed

The 2015 couples study cites earlier work by Brant Hasler and Troxel. After nights when couples went to bed at mismatched times, they had more negative interactions with each other the next day².

That doesn’t mean one of you must abandon your natural timing, which our article on circadian rhythms explains. It means you need a plan. These are practical ideas, not tested treatments:

• Use a silent alarm. A vibrating watch wakes one person, not two.
• Share the start of the night. Go to bed together, then let the night owl get up and read elsewhere.
• Block what’s left. Earplugs and an eye mask can cover a partner’s late light or early shower, as our articles on darkness and noise explain.

Some couples settle blanket battles by giving each partner a separate comforter, a habit called the “Scandinavian sleep method”⁷. In a 2024 AASM survey, 10% of adults had tried it⁷. We found no trials, but it’s cheap and low-risk.

The dog can stay in the room, and the bed is another question

In late 2015, Mayo Clinic researchers fitted 40 healthy adults and their dogs with motion trackers for seven nights, and published the results in 2017⁹. Most participants, 88%, were women, and their average age was 44⁹.

People’s sleep efficiency, the share of time in bed spent asleep, averaged 81%, which the authors considered good⁹. It was lower when the dog slept on the bed than elsewhere in the room⁹. The team concluded that a dog in the bedroom may not disturb sleep as much as once suspected⁹. But with no dog-free comparison group, the study can’t say how these owners would sleep alone.

In 2018, animal behavior researcher Christy Hoffman of Canisius University published a survey of nearly 1,000 U.S. women¹⁰. Women rated a dog in their bed as less disruptive than a human partner, and more comforting¹⁰. They rated cats as disruptive as human partners and less comforting than either¹⁰. The survey captured how women perceived their sleep, not how well they slept.

If your pet calms you and you wake rested, there’s little reason to change. If every paw and purr wakes you, try a pet bed on the floor.

Babies: doctors agree on the dangers, not on the bed

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) updated its safe-sleep policy in 2022¹². It advises parents to share a room with their baby, on a separate sleep surface close to the parents’ bed, for at least the first 6 months¹¹. It advises against bed-sharing under any circumstances, including with twins and other multiples¹¹.

The AAP spells out when sharing a sleep surface raises the risk of a sleep-related infant death the most¹²:

• The risk is 10 times higher when the baby sleeps with someone impaired by fatigue, sedating medicines, alcohol or illicit drugs, or with someone who smokes.
• It rises 5 to 10 times when the baby is under 4 months old, was born preterm or at low birthweight, or shares the surface with someone other than a parent, regardless of other factors.
• It is up to 67 times higher when the baby sleeps with someone on a couch, soft armchair or cushion.

If you bring your baby into your bed to feed or comfort them, the AAP says to put them back in their own sleep space before you go to sleep¹¹. If there’s any chance you’ll fall asleep, first remove pillows, blankets, sheets and anything else that could cover the baby’s face, head or neck or cause overheating¹¹. If you do fall asleep, move the baby back to their own space as soon as you wake¹¹.

Rebecca Carlin, a co-author of the policy, acknowledged that many parents bed-share, perhaps to help with breastfeeding, out of cultural preference or because they believe it’s safe¹². She urged families and pediatricians to build trust and talk about lowering the risks¹².

The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine (ABM) takes a different approach. Its 2019 protocol says that nighttime closeness helps mothers breastfeed longer and more exclusively¹³. It also describes “breastsleeping,” sleeping and breastfeeding in close contact when no hazards are present¹³.

The ABM argues that current evidence doesn’t show bed-sharing causes sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) among breastfed babies when known hazards are absent¹³. For the youngest babies, it calls the evidence unsettled and says larger studies are needed¹³. Instead of a flat no, it recommends open, nonjudgmental conversations with all parents, because bed-sharing tends to happen whether or not parents plan it¹³.

Both groups name the same core hazards: sofas and armchairs, an adult who has used alcohol or drugs, smoking, soft bedding, and babies born early or small¹¹¹³. This article follows the AAP, the U.S. pediatric standard. Whatever you’re weighing, talk with your baby’s clinician.

For toddlers and older children, where everyone sleeps is a family choice. Our article for busy parents covers bedtime routines.

What the evidence shows

Claim	Evidence level	What the research shows
Partners move more and fall into step when they share a bed	Promising but early	Wrist-sensor studies of 46 and 48 couples12
Sharing a bed boosts REM sleep	Promising but early	One lab study of 12 young couples3
Treating a snorer’s sleep apnea helps the bed partner sleep	Promising but early	A one-night study of 10 couples; large effect8
Sleeping apart harms a relationship	Not enough evidence	Surveys show it’s common; we found no study testing harm56
A dog in the bedroom is compatible with good sleep	Promising but early	One small study; slightly worse with the dog on the bed9
Separate comforters improve couples’ sleep	Not enough evidence	Popular; no trials found7
Bed-sharing is safe for breastfed babies when no hazards are present	Not enough evidence	Disputed: the AAP advises against it at any age; the ABM finds no proof it causes SIDS without hazards but calls data on young babies unsettled1213
It’s safe to doze with a baby on a couch, or in bed after drinking	Evidence says no, or unsafe	Up to 67 times the risk on a couch; both groups warn against both111213

A shared-bed agreement and fix list

A short, planned talk turns sleep complaints into a joint project. Adapt this script:

1. Pick a calm daytime moment, not 2 a.m. after a bad night.
2. Start with the goal. “I want us both to wake up rested, and I miss sleeping well next to you.”
3. Name the problem, not the person. “The snoring wakes me most nights” lands better than “You keep me up.”
4. Test one fix for two weeks, with a date to check in. If you try separate rooms, keep a shared bedtime ritual or morning coffee.
5. Agree on a medical step. If snoring comes with gasping or pauses, the snorer books a visit.

Then use this fix list:

Problem	Try first	Next step	See a clinician if
Snoring	Side sleeping; no alcohol or sleepy medicines at bedtime15	Earplugs for the listener; separate rooms on bad nights	A partner notices gasping, choking or pauses in breathing14
Different schedules	Silent alarm; the early riser dresses in another room	Separate rooms on early-shift nights	See the warning signs below
One runs hot, one runs cold	Separate comforters7	Separate beds pushed together	See the warning signs below
Kicking and restlessness	A larger bed or separate mattresses	Separate beds	Your partner notices frequent leg or arm jerking14
A pet on the bed	Pet bed on the floor in the room9	Pet sleeps outside the bedroom	See the warning signs below
A new baby	Bassinet or crib in your room11	A safe plan for night feeds11	You have any safe-sleep question; the AAP urges parents and pediatricians to talk it through12

Closeness is part of health, and so is a full night’s sleep

Many natural-health traditions treat a shared bed as normal and good. Touch, warmth and a familiar presence are old comforts, and the couples research hints that the brain values them too³⁴.

Respecting your body also means listening when sleep goes wrong. A partner who mentions your snoring may be handing you an early health warning.

Parents deserve facts about the hazards, shared without shame. The ABM notes that reported bed-sharing in the United States has risen in recent years despite campaigns against it¹³.

Talk to a clinician if you or your partner notice any of these:

• loud snoring, snorting, gasping, choking or pauses in breathing¹⁴;
• waking unrefreshed, feeling very drowsy during the day, or morning headaches¹⁵;
• trouble staying awake while watching TV or driving⁵;
• frequent leg or arm jerking during sleep, or creeping, tingling legs at bedtime that ease with movement¹⁴;
• regularly taking more than 30 minutes to fall asleep, or waking several times and struggling to get back to sleep¹⁴;
• snoring that hasn’t improved with self-care¹⁵.

If you feel drowsy behind the wheel, don’t drive. Our upcoming articles on sleep difficulties cover each one.

Questions readers ask

The bottom line

Sharing a bed is a trade. Partners move more and sometimes wake each other, yet their sleep falls into step, and many people feel safer together. When it isn’t working, try small fixes first. Sleeping apart is a reasonable, common choice.

Loud snoring deserves a doctor’s attention, for both of you. Pets can usually stay, ideally off the bed. Babies are the exception to flexible rules: share a room, not a bed, keep the sleep space bare, and never doze off together on a couch or armchair.

Related reading

• Why sleep doctors oppose permanent daylight saving time
• Your body sheds heat to fall asleep, and the 60 to 67°F rule is only a rough guide
• One lit night raised heart rate and insulin resistance, while darkness costs little
• Busy parents need a few anchors more than a perfect routine
• City nights run brighter and warmer, and the noise isn’t shared equally

Sources

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3. Frontiers. “Couples That Sleep Together Sleep Better” (on Drews HJ, Wallot S, Brysch P, et al., “Bed-Sharing in Couples Is Associated With Increased and Stabilized REM Sleep and Sleep-Stage Synchronization,” Frontiers in Psychiatry, 2020;11:583). Neuroscience News, June 25, 2020. neurosciencenews.com
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6. American Academy of Sleep Medicine. “A ‘Sleep Divorce’ Is Common Among Couples.” AASM, July 21, 2025. aasm.org
7. Robards K. “Is It Time for a Sleep Divorce?” Sleep Education, American Academy of Sleep Medicine, September 18, 2024. sleepeducation.org
8. Mayo Clinic. “Mayo Clinic Study Is First to Scientifically Document That Bed Partners Lose an Hour of Sleep Per Night Due to Snoring Spouse” (on a study in Mayo Clinic Proceedings, October 1999). ScienceDaily, October 6, 1999. sciencedaily.com
9. Patel SI, Miller BW, Kosiorek HE, Parish JM, Lyng PJ, Krahn LE. “The Effect of Dogs on Human Sleep in the Home Sleep Environment.” Mayo Clinic Proceedings, 2017;92(9):1368–1372. mayoclinic.elsevierpure.com
10. Canisius University. “‘Best Friends’ Make the Best Bed Partners” (on Hoffman CL, et al., Anthrozoös, 2018). Canisius, November 30, 2018. canisius.edu
11. American Academy of Pediatrics. “How to Keep Your Sleeping Baby Safe: AAP Policy Explained.” HealthyChildren.org, updated September 11, 2026. healthychildren.org
12. American Academy of Pediatrics. “Safe Sleep: Back Is Best, Avoid Soft Bedding, Inclined Surfaces & Bed Sharing” (on Moon RY, Carlin RF, Hand I, et al., “Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Updated 2022 Recommendations,” Pediatrics, 2022). HealthyChildren.org, June 21, 2022. healthychildren.org
13. Blair PS, Ball HL, McKenna JJ, Feldman-Winter L, Marinelli KA, Bartick MC; Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine. “ABM Clinical Protocol #6: Bedsharing and Breastfeeding, Revision 2019.” Breastfeeding Medicine, 2020;15(1). e-lactancia.org
14. MedlinePlus. “Sleep Disorders.” National Library of Medicine, updated December 4, 2025. medlineplus.gov
15. MedlinePlus. “Snoring – Adults.” National Library of Medicine, reviewed July 3, 2025. medlineplus.gov